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How to Minimize Fear and Pain in Birth

Updated: Oct 14, 2021

By Veronika Dellus


So you found out you are pregnant (Congratulations!) and you have started searching the web for information on pregnancy and birth (Whoa! Information overload!), and you are wondering if you should be signing up for a birth preparation class, and if so which one?


All the information out there is maybe making you feel anxious and overwhelmed, you are perhaps hearing birth stories from friends and family and not all of them are encouraging. You start wondering what your own birth will be like. And what about the pain? After all, you saw Rachel in Friends give birth right, and that didn’t look pleasant. What if you don’t have what it takes? What if things go wrong? Suddenly fear and stress starts creeping in, and getting in the way of that original joy and excitement you felt when you first found out you were pregnant.


Now, I encourage you to take a step back for a second and do this short exercise with me...


  • Take a deep breath in through your nose, let that breath flow all the way down to your belly, filling your abdomen. Hold it for a moment, and then slowly breath out.

  • And again, breath in, deeply, and then slowly out.

  • Now add counting to your inhale and exhale, inhale to the count of 4, exhale anywhere between 6 and 8.

  • Focus on extending your exhalation, either by using counting or visualization - think of blowing 10 candles when you exhale.

  • Breath in calm, breath out tension.

  • Feel how your body slowly relaxes more and more with every breath.

  • Feel your shoulders relaxing, sinking down into the frame of your body.


Focus your attention on your mind for a moment, and repeat after me.

“I trust my body”

“My body is perfectly designed to birth my baby”

“I am calm, I am confident”


Feeling any better?


I would also love to ask you to listen / read through the birth stories below...


You could do it straight away, fully. Or you can plan it for later today or any other day. Those are birth stories of first time moms, second time moms; hospital births, planned and unplanned; home births; water births, induced births and those with spontaneous onset of labor.


Birth story of Mira - born in a hospital at 36+5 days, when her parents were preparing for a candle-lit water birth at home

Birth story of Declan - born in a hospital on his due date after inducing labor

Birth story of Pippa - second baby, born in a hospital, when her mom had to overcome shade of her first birth (link here)

Birth story of Luka Teresa - born at home just before the scheduled induction was about to happen at almost 42 weeks (link here)


All the birth stories are different, yet all the birth stories above have one thing in common: HypnoBirthing.


Hypno-what you’re thinking? Maybe you’ve already come across the name HypnoBirthing before and thought to yourself; no, that’s just some alternative stuff that hippies do, not for me (unless you happen to be a hippie, which is totally fine). Or perhaps you’ve never heard about it before, because you already have your mind on doing that “regular” birth prep class that someone told you to do, because that’s what you know and what your friends did. It’s fine too. But if you have a moment, read this to the end before making your final decision on how to approach your preparation for birth.


What if I told you, birth does not need to look like that scene of Rachel in Friends?

What if I told you birth can be beautiful, calm and empowering?

What if I even told you that pain is not always part of it (hold on, what?), and if it is, it doesn’t need to be unbearable?

What if you could find a way to put your fears and worries aside, and approach birth feeling informed, calm, and confident?

What if you can look back at your birth and say; wow, how awesome am I, I just birthed that baby like a goddess!


Now, I’m not saying that following a HypnoBirthing method will automatically give you all these outcomes, there is no magic potion you can take to have the birth of your dreams. You will need to put in the work. And yes, birth does not always turn out as planned (but you can still be in control), and yes, there are sometimes special circumstances to consider (and you can still have a positive experience).


What HypnoBirthing does offer are the tools, guidance and information available to you so that you can empower yourself, prepare yourself in body and mind, stay relaxed, know your options and your rights, make informed decisions about your birth, learn to trust your body and your natural birthing instincts, and feel prepared to handle your birth in a positive manner regardless of context or what turn it takes.


HypnoBirthing will not teach you how to give birth. Deep down, you already know how to do that. Your body and your baby were perfectly designed and planned for birth. Nature has it all figured out, down to the smallest details. What HypnoBirthing does offer, is the opportunity for you to release all those fears, misconceptions and negative thoughts that might be standing in your way, so that you can reconnect with your inner power and instincts, and give birth the way nature intended.


So you see, this is not just for hippies (although they too are most welcome to join). This is for every birthing person who is willing to believe that our minds and bodies are extremely powerful, and when we learn to let go and work with all that we already have, we are capable of amazing things, like creating, birthing, and nurturing little people (hello superpowers!).


Giving birth is probably one of the biggest things you will ever do, and you will remember the experience for the rest of your life. It’s worth putting the time and effort in to planning and preparing for it, and not just leave it to chance. You owe that to yourself and to your baby.


If the idea of spending the rest of your pregnancy practicing relaxation, calm breathing and thinking positive thoughts, while your partner gives you relaxing massages (doesn’t sound too bad right?) sounds tempting to you, then perhaps consider checking around for the upcoming HypnoBirthing courses in your area or online, and explore your options further.





#hypnobirthing #birthwithoutfear #homebirth #naturalbirth #positivebirthmovement



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