By Natalia Garcia, mother of Leona born in Den Hague, October 2021
Nowadays due to the pandemic online engagements and digital gadgets are the everyday tools to keep connected. Hereby I would like to share with all of you a few actions that help me to reintegrate to the digital world while in postpartum. This is how I keep connecting online and not losing my mind in the intent, but most importantly, not neglecting my priority no.1 my beautiful daughter Leona.
1. PLANNING as much as it is possible – what, how, when, time – write it down.
Whenever I have any kind of online engagement I plan my day since one night in advance, I have an agenda called the “Productivity Planner” and just the fact of writing it down one day before there, such as what type of online activity, the time it will happen and the maximum time I am planning to attend helps a lot! It definitely declutters the mind to have a daily plan, even if it gets cancelled or if I have to attend for a shorter time due to mom duties, it is OK, my mind knows I am complying with my planned activity and that is enough.
2. BE CLEAR over your limited time and the sudden need to pause if your little one needs you – as Brené Brown mentioned: “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind”.
Do not feel shy on expressing it, it is what it is and that´s it. Priorities have changed and now if your baby needs you in the middle of the video call, do not hesitate on expressing it, make sure they know in advance this can happen so it could be easier for you to make a pause or reschedule the call. Your cortisol levels will be way lower if any sudden interruption happens : )
3. INCLUDE your little one (if you feel comfortable to do so).
If this makes you feel comfortable include her/him on the call, is up to you if you would like to show your little one and have her/him with you. Babies are a sunshine itself so when introducing your little one to the other participants at call you create an awareness that at any point you have to turn the camera off for feeding, sleeping, or just because you feel more comfortable this way, never feel pushed on keeping a camera on, is your privacy and that always have to be your choice.
4. TIME any digital interaction you have.
If it works for you, I time myself on my phone usage, I use an app that sets on a time limit per day for using the phone, this includes mostly whatssapp, social media, even for replying emails or video calls. Set a list of your priorities involving digital gadgets, be realistic on what apps you really need and get rid of the ones that is just a waste of time (you know better) …declutter! This will give you way more quality time with your little one, and your mind will say: thanks😉.
5. BE KIND to yourself.
It is not easy, it wasn’t for me, it is truly a road to walk and learn, especially when having my little one on a 24/7 schedule and there is absolutely no reason valid for me for not giving her all the motherly love she needs. Nevertheless for this to happen I have to learn to be more flexible with schedules, to lose the idea of control during video calls, to be aware there will be good and challenging moments, accepting this has made me enjoy more every single minute I am with her. Be mindful with your energy peaks for planning digital engagements, communicate you have a little one that could just demand attention at any moment and do not feel guilty of doing so.
Nowadays digital came to facilitate our life nevertheless it could also be our worst enemy on time and energy consumption, reason why it feels better to use it mindfully. For me it helps a lot to choose for a holistic way of living with my digital engagements and baby girl, this has made me feel more relaxed, happy and fulfilled.
Thank you for reading this article and if you have any question or comments I am happy to connect with you for continuing the conversation. DM Instagram @natalia.garcia.she