Updated: Nov 24, 2022
Becoming a Mama has been the most profound and challenging initiation of my life. I have never felt more hopelessly and utterly lost nor unshakingly and completely found than being Mira’s Mama. I have experienced countless cycles of death & rebirth to my identity, the roles I play and my ego that I’ve stopped being surprised by the sheer number of breakdowns and breakthroughs I’ve had (and my daughter is only 9 months old…).
So many layers and masks that I was wearing - the perfectionist, the workaholic, the overachiever, the good girl, the eldest daughter, the lover, the whore, the party girl, the spiritual junkie…all of them up for examination, contemplation & reflection.
Who was I before I became a Mama?
Who am I now?
Who do I want to be? Not only for myself, but for all those I love around me?
Want kind of life do I want to live?
And through this whole process of unearthing and peeling back the layers, of doing deep inner work, of shedding and releasing what no longer serves me, of accepting and celebrating my shadows and of integrating my light and dark aspects back into wholeness, I can honestly say that I have never felt more MYSELF, CONFIDENT, RADIANT, JOYFUL, ALIVE & FREE than ever!
(And just to be clear - motherhood has definitely not been all sunshine and rainbows - the first 4 months during breastfeeding and little sleep were excruciating - endlessly giving from an empty cup, not asking for or receiving help, and ultimately reaching a breaking point with myself and my partnership that made it clear things could not go on this way and would need to change. And yet this was also part of my process and journey and I can now look back at that period with gratitude and grace).
Embodying my Essence
The birth of my daughter reactivated and awakened my Essence - my radiant, limitless, joyful self.
Your Essence is who you are at the core of your Being - it is your most authentic, radiant and alive Self. It is the part of you that exists eternally whatever label or mask you might be wearing at any moment. It is who you are when you strip away the trauma, patterns, conditioning and limiting beliefs that have been imprinted and imposed upon you. When you awaken your Essence and when you are deeply connected to her, life - and all her magic, possibilities and mystery - becomes available to you. And from that deeply anchored and aligned place, you begin to trust your path and transform your life.
It is Mira’s joy, awe, wonderment, playfulness, spontaneity and unconditional love that reminds me everyday that life is a precious gift to be savored, enjoyed and lived to its fullest. To fill my days with the things, activities, food, people, work, etc. that bring me joy, nourishment and fulfillment.
And I am reminded that there is now a little being who is mirroring, learning, absorbing, reflecting - consciously and unconsciously - all of my choices, behaviors, actions, beliefs and conversations. Another little being who is looking to me for guidance navigating life and the world around us.
And what has become clear to me is that I can best serve her - be the best Mama to her by living from my Essence - by being true, authentic and accepting of myself and my deepest desires in every moment. And showing up fully for myself, honoring my needs and wants and modeling to her what is possible in life.
I want her to see a Mama that is standing in her full power and radiance. Who pursues her dreams, passions and desires and is not afraid to make mistakes and succeed. Who is open, vulnerable and processes her emotions in an appropriate way. Who communicates with radical honesty and sets clear and healthy boundaries for herself and others. And who lives, loves and enjoys life to the fullest.
Feeling lost, disconnected & dispirited during Motherhood
And yet, I have spoken to so many Mamas and Mamas-to-be who feel lost, disconnected, confused or dispirited throughout their motherhood journey. And this is totally normal and to be expected in a society that has very clearly defined and gendered roles, expectations and beliefs about Mamas, not to mention limited holistic support for Mamas, children and families more broadly (hello…this is why we used to live in tribes and communities together…)
Theses Mamas question their identity, their life, their choices - struggling with the same questions I did:
Who was I before I became a Mama?
Who am I now?
Who do I want to be?
Want kind of life do I want to live?
They struggle with their relationship to themselves, to their partner, to their family & friend circle, to their work - searching for an anchor point.
Anchoring into Essence
Well for me, that anchor point is Essence - that is the one thing I know is eternal, pure magic, joy, radiance and love.
Whenever I am feeling lost, I take a moment to reconnect back to myself, back to my Essence. I remind myself of all of the beautiful flavors of who I am at the core of my being - not what others think of or expect from me - but who I truly am and feel inside. I connect with the things, activities, people and places that bring me joy. And I make the changes - big and small, subtle and not so subtle, to my life that bring my back into balance and alignment with my Essence.
For me, that has looked like:
Moving to nature
Quitting my job
Setting up my own company and becoming my own boss
Redefining my boundaries and relationship with my partner, family and friends
Following my dreams, longings and desires
For you, it will be completely different - and there is no need to make big sweeping changes for you to connect with and live from your Essence. It can be in the small, simple things:
Developing a morning ritual
Making more time to pursue activities outside of work that bring you joy and pleasure
Joining that class or program that you always wanted
Getting extra help around the house or better dividing tasks with your partner
Re-defining your role at work
Letting go of certain friendships that do not serve you
Getting a massage or going to a hotel for a little me-time getaway every month
Live from your Essence
Connecting with and living from your Essence is like training a muscle - the more often you do it, even in the smallest things, the easier and stronger it gets with time. And, if and when you want to make bigger changes to your life, it will be easier because living from your Essence tastes and feels so good and effortless that you won’t want to live any other way!
However you want to express and live from your Essence will be unique to you, your situation and your needs - and it is all amazing, valid and true. In honoring and serving yourself and your Essence, you not only can better serve and support those around you who you love and care for, but you can also act as an example and inspiration for them as to what is possible when you live from your Essence.
Connect & dive deeper into your Essence
Curious to learn more about your Essence? Then join me for Awaken your Essence, a free online masterclass on Wednesday 2 March 20.00 - 21.15 CET where we will dive into all things Essence - what it is, why it is important, how it has become blocked and how to reconnect. And I will guide you through a powerful meditation to activate and awaken your essence as well as share tools and practices to stay connected to and live from your Essence moment to moment. Click this link to register: CLAIM MY SPOT! Missed the event - no worries! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send you the replay!
Interested to dive deeper? Then check out my Embody your Essence 1:1 Mentorship program - an immersive and personalized journey to awaken your Essence and transform your life: MENTORSHIP PROGRAM
Wanna connect! Email me at: email@example.com or find me on Insta (nataliie.love) or FB (Nataliie Shriber)
Essence journal prompts you can start using today!
As an extra bonus, below are 3 beautiful Journal Prompts to help you connect with your Essence:
✨ What are all the flavors of your Essence? (Don't be shy here - list them ALL, even the ones that feel "shadowy" - this is also a beautiful part of you to celebrate!) Write them on sticky notes and post them around your home so you are constantly reminded of how AMAZING you are!)
✨ In what environment, circumstances or situations do you feel most naturally connected to your Essence? Where least? What are some ways you can consciously shift the balance and make choices that will allow you to connect more often and easily with your Essence? This could be in any aspect of your life - work, relationships, health, spirituality, friendship, finance, etc. Remember - you have the power to choose and create your reality!
✨ What feels most nourishing for your Essence? This could be an activity, place, state of being, person/people etc. This is super helpful for those moments when we are feeling disconnected from our Essence and want to return home to ourselves.
Sending you much joy, love and light - Aho, Nataliie